Where is the hickey?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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