i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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