If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She even gives head with a lisp.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
