The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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