Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
