you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
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I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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