sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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