I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
