Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
