i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
