youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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