if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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