Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
