3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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