Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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