And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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