Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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