I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
