i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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