I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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