He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
