Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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