ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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