I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
