I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sext me about skeletons
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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