I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
