Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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