She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
