It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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