Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
