i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
