Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i can't believe i had my finger in that
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Rumble strips road head = magical
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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