sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
