Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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