sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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