Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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