I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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