Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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