We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
