Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
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