I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
