I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
