All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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