i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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