i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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