If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
