i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
