Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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