I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
