Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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