OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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