Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
