There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
