I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
