I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You made out with two different species that night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
