Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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