we're blogging at a bar
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
