ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
