I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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