It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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