thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
