My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
